mental-health

“…If You Just Smile”

Posted on by cdjcollings

There’s a magnifying mirror on my dressing table now. It is a Christmas gift. With it, is my intention to capture the emergence of anything onto my face, from day to day. I mean not to be surprised with any new development. It seems to be working to do that for me. I’m seeing it all, especially the changes around my mouth, that area that reminds me of a bloodhound, droopy and sad. And when did that happen? And how long has that been a thing? Ugh!

A discussion I was having was going nowhere recalling the events of the world. And as we are talking about the various developments, I look toward my companion and noticed her face contorted in response to the pile of disasters we were acknowledging, and to such an extreme that I had to comment to her about it. She says to me, “Well you should see your expression right now, not so good.” As we both laugh hysterically, I noticed something. Her normal expression, in repose also reminiscent of a bloodhound, suddenly brightened. All of the lines seemed to have disappeared! She looked 20 years younger!

I was amazed with how much of a change there was. I commented on this and she said she also felt so much better having let go of that conversation.

We decided then and there to try to smile more often. We practiced in front of each other, cracking up with how it seemed as there was nothing to actually smile about. But we had to admit that change that she experienced. And smiling, even when you have no particular reason, most pleasantly takes the lead over negativity and changes your mood!

So I endeavor to smile for no reason at all, just for the sake of smiling. And why not when the alternative is to be taken down with negativity? It feels odd and out of place at first but with time becomes easier and more of an automatic presence of mind.

And what have I noticed? I’ve noticed that many people when they see me smiling as I look their way seem to gravitate toward me, cheerfully, smiling in return; as though they are relieved with the opportunity to smile with another person. It’s catchy thing! “What, do you mean I don’t have to be burdened with the darkness of world events; that perhaps I can be my own personal happiness event for myself and those within my sphere?” Oh yeah, or so it seems from my recent personal experience!

But guess what else? Looking in the mirror on my bureau, I have noticed the bloodhound jowls are gone!!! Must be the power of the smile engaging muscles that have been dormant for all of the bad news and troubles that we can’t help hearing about; which, I must remember, are those things that I could not change on my own. But a smile? Well, who knew how powerful it can actually be? We all have this to give to ourselves and to other people. We can smile. It’s free. It’s easy. And it feels pretty wonderful too!

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When we think of pantomime, we think of none other than the great Charlie Chaplin. He wrote a song entitled “Smile” which was featured in the classic silent film, “Modern Times” in which he starred.

Judy Garland sings it best for me. But you may find your own personal favorite as it has been sung by so many who realize the simplicity and charm of this gem.

The great Nat King Cole, who is best known for the quintessential rendition of “Smile”, and who I remember from my childhood for singing it, is a tough choice between he and the one and only Judy Garland. Her performance of this song is exceptional, and for me, a stand out among all others. She seems to deeply feel the message as she pours out her heart just as she has done in all of her performances; there’s Michael Jackson and Barbra Streisand… I understand that it was Michael Jackson’s favorite song.

It is one beautiful and memorable melody for its simple but powerful message which never gets old, just as the title.

Thank you, thank you Charlie Chaplin!

WOW!

“The mind is a terrible thing to waste.”

Posted on by cdjcollings

Sometime in the 1970s, there was a tv commercial by The United Negro College Fund which ended with this line. It was a commercial promoting the significance of education. Not sure if I’ve used the correct article; it could have declared “A” mind, etc. None the less the message remains the same.

What/who do we rely upon to inform us? Have we actually given thought to this question? I will guess many people have never. We are provided unsolicited information, answers to questions never asked. We live in a fast-paced environment leaving little space and time for our minds to ponder, to reach the place from where questions arise. We need not put in the effort, ultimately accepting data bombarding our senses. What is wrong here? Everything goes along smoothly so what could be wrong with this?

Well, in the presence of overwhelming information and distractions, we may have completely lost connection with what could be our own thoughts. But would we notice this phenomenon at all?

Observing trending ideologies, I am amazed with how easily they take root and grow; how readily accepted, that questions asked by a person who pauses to think before accepting information seems to be an irritant to others who accept without question whatever is presented. People can even become violent in their beliefs which I contend are not actually their own. The worst of this is that most likely, they won’t realize this. In so many areas of their lives, they haven’t had to actually think things through, so they don’t know that they have this natural ability. They don’t know the valuable resource within themselves. And the thinking person is a fright, a danger to their stability and safety. They put up defenses. They will argue a point, not realizing the genesis of which is not of themselves. They are not accustomed to being present with themselves.

We are feeling, experiencing how detrimental this has become for our society.

Ha! I actually had a client, a young woman, who once remarked that she doesn’t like to think!

Take time. Put in the work. Go within. Ask questions!

Love to all!

Char

Who Are You?

Posted on by cdjcollings

photo by Alexey Kijatov

We may think we know ourselves, but unless and until we determine and identify the various aspects of our personality, I wonder how can we truly know.

I may not be describing this as well as I might, but this is how it seems to me.

We should have an awareness of what is important to us, what we keep within us; such as:.

What we believe.

What we will not tolerate.

We we must always do in every situation.

What we will never allow ourselves to do in any situation, and so on.

And what are the things that we expect of other people who enter our lives, etc. etc..

Each person brings a pre-determined standard along with every encounter, otherwise we are vulnerable to any well-phrased opinion, especially by someone we admire.

Speaking of this, you may give credibility to someone, an eloquent speaker with a well spring of knowledge, very convincing, charismatic and engaging. But what if something that is said comes against a standard that you have for yourself…a standard that you actually have, but have not determined or recognized as such?

Maybe you paid to be in the audience of this person. You are enjoying what you are hearing. Then suddenly, the person says something that is a little irritating, just “a little bit” (channelling De Niro’s character from the movie Goodfellas, haha!). The person has captured your attention and has your trust and respect. But still, you find what has just been uttered to be slightly irritating. It doesn’t fit. Their narrative should resonate with you; you expected it to have. You are annoyed with yourself because of this intrusive and inconvenient feeling. You want it to go away. You wait to hear something that overrides this initial response within you, bringing the speaker back in line with what you expect to hear. You invested in this moment after all. Are you the only one who feels this way? It may seem to be only with you.

In a very real way it is only you. It is personal.

Whether you have actually given thought to this or not, you have a guidance system. And it may come as a surprise to find how unconsciousness you can be of it, and how it works with and for you.

What if you took some time to identify what makes you who you are by getting to know your system of guidance? What are your morals and standards for yourself, and for others? It may take a while because who can name every thing, and you have not thought In this way before, not like this? But it can be very enlightening. And the irritation that you felt with the person of many opinions, well, you will probably come to realize has something to do with your internal system of standards.

Identifying the things that make you who you are can be enlightening and surprising. But what is even more significant, is realizing that there is a system. And, while identifying what it is made of, you may find that some things could be adjusted in order to represent your authentic self.

We are evolving all of the time. So taking this look of what is guiding us can be thought of as maintenance; making sure that we are aligned with ourselves in the present time.

Does a person have the ability to actually make adjustments in attitude when they are automatic responses of feelings? Is this self-work a thing that we can actually do? Perhaps a clear and honest identification of what guides you may in and of itself enable you to be a catalyst for change.

“Change your mind. Change your life.”

“Thoughts create things!” (this is a quote from in the movie, The Secret)

Know your guidance system!!

Know yourself!

Have fun!

Love to all!

Char