Truthfully

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Someone said:

There exists only two emotions…

                                                              love

and everything else.

 

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Years had gone by without a single thought of the time in 1957 when I spent the summer with my grandparents on their farm in Virginia.  Then, in the midst of a prolonged illness, among all of the things my mind was sorting through, this forgotten experience drifted in.  Totally unprovoked and effortlessly revealing, I felt the need to write everything that I could remember, just as it presented itself to me.

And as I wrote, I became more and more immersed within the warmth and comfort of that time with my grandparents, so precious and dear to me now, as I realize after all, how much meaning it brought to my life.

This glimpse into their world was written with love and a deep and ever-growing appreciation for my family, for my heritage.  It might well have been entitled , “The Gift”.

                                                                        Truth is Beauty is Love

Two Little Girls by Charon Diane

http://booklocker.com/books/4718.html

https://barnesandnoble.com/w/two-little-girls-charon-                                              diane/1022157163?ean=9781609101374

https://www.amazon.com/Two-Little-Girls-Charon-Diane/dp/1609101375

 

* An excerpt from my book:

Two Little Girls

Chapter 1

As far as I was concerned, summer began with the day my father installed the screens in the windows. Early that morning, Mother would have taken the summer sheers from storage to the clothesline in our backyard. By the afternoon, she swooped up the freshened bundle and brought them back indoors to hang on the rods at the tops of the windows. When the transformation was complete, I’d run from room to room to see the curtains flying on the breeze that raced in through the windows of our big old house. Like a magical invitation to adventures possible only with summer, when one day melted into the next and no one asked about the time, I felt that I could fly too and that anything could happen.

There were 5 children in my family. My brother Lionel was the oldest; my sister Cecilia was next, followed by my sister Rose, then my brother Isaac, and me. We spent summertime totally absorbed in keeping pace with our friends as was our Mother in keeping up with us. She mended our scraped knees, our bruised egos, and the holes in my brothers’ dungarees. I remember lemonade and tuna sandwiches, cotton sun dresses and hair ribbons; the pennies I collected for the corner candy store, and my ankle socks that never stayed up. Summers seemed much longer then when hopscotch and jump rope, hide-and-seek and tag, dress-up and make-believe, with my bicycle, my dolls and friends filled the days until supper time. When August finally came around, among the five of us someone would be chosen to vacation with our grandparents in the country. It was in the year 1957 that I was to spend my first summer there.

I’d thought so often about my first trip to the farm. But like the landing of a cascading boulder, my mother’s cheerful delivery of this summer’s plan completely shattered my vision of it. Leaving little room for the way that reality alters things but similar to most events concerning “the children”, I was quite certain of my unvarying reverie. It was always the same.  My brothers and sisters are running through a country field with me, very happily and as usual, following close behind. But everything had been arranged and I alone would spend two weeks on the farm that year.

My family had gathered in the living room when Mother made the announcement. But my frustrating lack of enthusiasm was like a call to dinner in emptying the room of everyone and I found myself alone, save for the dog. While I struggled with the concept of being on my own, Spiky jumped onto the couch next to me. Placing his head upon my foot he kept a concerned and watchful eye over my disposition until we both fell asleep.

Later that day, I listened to Dad’s recollections of farm life adventures while Mother prepared supper. As she filled in with the finer points and particulars she’d taken note of my mixed feelings with her knowing smile that always took the sharp edges off of things. “Don’t forget that your cousin Joanna is just about your age and lives close to Grandpa‘s”, she nearly whispered. Then I thought of the pocket inside the little green suitcase as the place where my Jacks would find a perfect fit.

                                          ~~~~~~~ Truth is Beauty is Love ~~~~~~

 

 

No Win, no Place, no Show

Business Woman Running on a Hampster Wheel

You try to bond with, love, or at least strive for acceptance with some people.  But it seems impossible to get beyond a certain point with them.  Then one day, you realize that the only reason you have to continue trying is to keep alive the notion that with perseverance you will eventually succeed.

It may be necessary to protect yourself from investing more time because your spirit is at stake in these situations.  It almost feels like war, the relentless discussion without end, disguised as intelligent discourse…you’re just not getting it.  But why not?  You’re using everything at your disposal; being as honest, open, and true as you can possibly be.  You’ve been invited to the party but you are the only one there.

You realize the need to take care of yourself, to take the things that you offer from a situation that seems only to reject or belittle your every attempt.

Family is fertile ground for this pointless excursion to nowhere.  It is here where it is most difficult to discern the machinations, because surely love exists and isn’t that what we are hoping to experience and isn’t this the place where we want it most?  But it can be a minefield of deception that may take years to realize.  And that may be all there is to that!

Alas, the classic move is when much later, you are confronted with the person, seeking your attention now.  Where have you been after all…rather demanding as a matter of fact, perhaps there is a degree of anger for you’ve given up the pursuit of their approval.  This is where you get to say a few choice words if you wish.  But as valid as that may seem, you feel little inclination in that direction.  Geez…

                  “Dear Lord,  Make me a bird so I can fly far, far far away from here.”

                                                                                           Jenny from “Forrest Gump”

Nevertheless, be love and enjoy the beauty of the day, everyday…create something!

What’s the Matter?

Might it be associated with the fact that people are feeling inadequate due to the relentless exposure to other people everywhere?  It’s not natural.  We are not physically capable of having that level of exposure.  It can only happen electronically.

For heaven’s sake, wasn’t it enough being concerned with how you compare to the next person in the room, at a party, on the beach?  Now we have people anywhere in the world to consider!

Recently, I took a day reacting only to people I could actually see in my physical proximity.  I checked in to voice mail a couple of times throughout the day, but the joy was in deciding when that would happen.  What a break!

Have a beautiful day!