Light

With feelings of depression or hopelessness, life is dark; positive emotions so far out of reach, it seems impossible to recall how it feels to be content or happy. The light has been replaced with darkness.

Rather than perceiving this darkness as the opposite of light, it may be more correct in being perceived as the absence of Light, the absence of God.

Because there is none else.

GOD IS.

Every thing is His creation, His majesty.

The synchronicity and the incredible design found in the living things specific for sustenance within an environment is in every living thing on the earth; most incredible and intricate and found in the very smallest forms of life. And the closer we look, there’s even more detail for a specific purpose, beautifully balanced within itself, and with every other thing in the space around it.. all working synergistically, in harmony and in support of the environment, that after being brought into existence lives, grows, multiplies and thrives, unchanged in purpose and being.

Darkness is the absence of Light…the absence of God.

Because there is only ONE, or, there is His absence, dreadful and dark.

1 John 1:5
This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all.

Pray!

This comes to me now:

When I was a child, I have a clear recollection of a summer day, lying in the grass and looking closely at the life forms all around me. I decided to remain motionless to perceive what came into the space in front of my eyes, what I could see without moving my head. I realized the incredible activity and the beauty. Every weed was amazing, I discovered the design in everything. After a while I discovered an entire community of insects living in harmony, each pursuing its particular interest in a flower. Bees flying in to access pollen as some smaller insect that I could not identify went about its business roaming underneath at the stem, resting there it seemed, sheltering from the sun. Butterflies fluttering from one to the next of the wildflowers. And the ants scouting about the ground having discovered some morsel to deliver back home and working in an invisible line with other ants, each briskly baring treasures larger than themselves. And I thought of how the entire yard had to be quietly populated just as the space was where I decided to lie down after eating my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. For many days after that, I remained conscious of what my every step might be destroying whenever I went out into my backyard.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

God loves you!

Char

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few years ago, I was grappling with a health condition which defied understanding of several medical professionals. After extensive online research, I myself would come to discover what was keeping me ill. The process was draining and exhausting. One day, at my desk wondering where else to look for answers, I folded my arms and rested my head. I seemed to be falling asleep a much more pleasant and beautiful memory from my childhood, of a summer that I visited with my grandparents at their farm in Virginia drifted into my mind. It was a very clear recollection of what happened so long ago so I started to write everything that was coming to me.

Here is an excerpt of what turned out to be a 50-page novelette.

This is the 4th chapter where I tell of the night my grandfather picked up my mother and me from the train station in Fredericksburg, Va.

4

My grandfather’s forest green Buick was quite the automobile with plush seats that reminded me of our living room couch. It was round like cars were then, with huge chrome grill adorning the front of it. The doors closed with an impressive sound, firm and solid, and inside there was a slight scent of musk from having been parked for long periods of time, I imagined, in reserve for special occasions. Buffed to a high sheen and with the occasional scent possessed by new cars, we made our way through the dark night under a sky as I had never seen it; so filled with stars with practically no space at all between them. “We don’t get to see so many stars back home do we? Isn’t it beautiful?” she said. I turned to the rear window. The entire sky seemed to defy the passage of the vehicle as did the farmhouses, trees, and roadside mailboxes. I began to feel very small and insignificant as I turned back around and closer to my mother.

From the highway the tires ground onto a narrow dirt road. As we rumbled along the air became moist, cool; filled with the many unfamiliar scents of the countryside. The startling awareness of skunk was somewhat softened by the sweet surprise of wild honeysuckle that my mother said grew wildly along the length of a fence. The Buick’s headlamps captured husks growing low on towering cornstalks. The crop had grown out over the sides of the road threatening to swallow the car as well, but only the sound, reduced to a soft rumble was forfeited, as it flumped up and over the bumps in the road and in and out of the ditches. With yellow cones of light showing the way, the night was teeming with fluttering ethereal life forms darting in and out, and the relentless sound of a million crickets. 

Through the darkness we walked along a small path toward the light of the farmhouse to find my Grandmother waiting by the kitchen door. Her smiling eyes were mere crescents above cheeks like apples and her braid was coiled and pinned back. She was shorter than she seemed from the stories my mother had told about her. I remember never having been as completely hugged as I was that day within her full bosom, smelling of the coconut cake that was at the center of the table in the old country kitchen. I felt known and loved in the most reassuring way. And I thought that she must have heard many stories about me as well, and that eventually I would discover somewhere in this house without mantels, the baby-in-pink with-teddy picture that other seldom visited relatives all seemed to possess. After a glass of lemonade and a piece of the coconut cake, I was shuttled off to bed as the elders lingered over a pitcher of tea. I remember that the smokehouse hickory seemed to be everywhere, even in the sheets with the little red roses that I slept on that night.

Two Little Girls by Charon Diane

Available through my publisher, Booklocker. 

  http://booklocker.com/books/4718.html

and:

Barnes & Noble

https://barnesandnoble.com/w/two-little-girls-charon-diane/1022157163?ean=9781609101374

You are amazing!  Create something beautiful today!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reflection

In regard to things we yearn for, they may be and most probably will be, a long time coming.

Maybe circumstances are more of the essence than they are of time.

Certain things are happening but must come in convergence with other things, to make that wonderful event; each within its own time line, but each including that other part (or parts) to be discovered, when the time is right, for each.

It all makes sense in the end, but I always wish I could have managed better, you know?

Happy New Year everyone!

Char

Every Single Thing

“Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”

Mark 9:23

Now this one may take most of a lifetime to grasp.

We each have our own beliefs. They are based on life experiences, from the very beginning of awareness. When matters turn in our favor, we feel confirmation for the thing that guided us to act in a certain way. When we are not favored, that can lead to feelings of powerlessness. And we try again and again to prove that we are right. And we defend our position with every bit of our will. We may surrender friends and family members who don’t support our beliefs. We may even die with our inability to consider the possibility that we may be wrong. Yes, being right is that important to some people, because otherwise, there must be something else that has control then, right? Well this is the truly frightening concept for us. We fear the unknown, most terribly. So we stay vigilant, stalwart in our beliefs that we tirelessly defend. We may isolate ourselves from any challenging opposition to what we have come to “know” is true.

And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.

1 Kings 19:12

How absolutely profound, “a still small voice“.

He is there…always.

This world of distractions keeps us from hearing Him. We are used to thinking about and responding to noise, as though significance must come with a bang. We miss the beauty of stillness, the knowledge that is there, the love.

Everything that happens is to bring you closer to the Creator…every, single, thing.

Realizing and accepting this truth…then everything makes sense and falls into place.

All is understood for how it was meant to be in your life. All is in harmony, with The Divine.

Change fears to prayers!

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

...And I will do whatever you ask in My name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. / If you ask Me for anything in My name, I will do it.

John 14:12-14

Love to all,

Char

Everything is a gift!

Rambling, 1/14/2025

Everything is a gift.

And why is that?

Because everything that happens is to bring one closer to God, The Heavenly Father and Creator of the universe.

Here’s the thing.

No matter, it seems that when people are faced with imminent danger, even if they haven’t prayed and perhaps don’t believe in prayer, let’s get real…with their backs against the wall, with no one to help, with no way out, don’t they always end up asking for the help of God? “Oh God, please help me!” “Help me, Jesus!” Innately, we know to seek Him.

We are of God. He resides within each of us.

At those times, on those days when life is good, you may not feel the need to ask for His guidance. All seems well. But know that going alone on your way, you overlook the power that partnering with Him will have in your life.

Some make a conscious effort to remain connected and are rewarded with His grace. Others deny His Presence and choose to believe in themselves and whatever their mind brings to them.

The mind…it is always at work, busy, busy, busy, in competition with the heart. Or, it’s simply languishing with you as you remain absent in your life. This is a favorite mindset of the evil one. Make the least possible effort in your life, in your day. Create even less.

We are made in the image of God, The Heavenly Father.

Invite HIM along as you create your beautiful days.

Be grateful.

Experience the joy!

Inspirito!

Know this

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

love

                                                       

“Love’s in need of love today.

                                                Don’t delay send yours in right away.”

by the great Stevie Wonder

So apropos and timely, this amazing, song, lyrics, video is here, from You Tube:

Angel on the Highway

The year was 1980.  I worked the third shift, three nights of the week at a computer firm while my husband was at home with our two children.

The car I was driving, our second, was a sturdy old Plymouth Valiant, model year 1964. It ran well and had been very reliable for trips to the creek with the children and the dog, or to town to visit a museum, for grocery shopping, and whatever else a mom and two little ones might be bound for in the course of a day.  We never had to worry about spills or mud on the seats so the children loved it.

One night on my way home from work, at approximately 1:30 am it started to rain. By the time I reached the highway it was torrential.  Suddenly my windshield wipers couldn’t keep up with the deluge and visibility was absolutely null.  I panicked because I remembered that the road was close to a ravine with only a very short rail along the side of it.   I steered the car toward the gravel strip beside the paved road and very slowly drove until I thought that all of the car’s wheels were off of the road and onto the strip. It was pitch black as I got out of my car to see if it was safely positioned.  A chill ran up my spine.  My car was just inches away from the rail.

I got back into the car and rolled down my window to try to flag someone but the traffic was moving so fast that I didn’t feel at all safe doing that so I rolled up the window.   The passenger in a large truck looked straight at me laughed devilishly as it sped by.  I remember feeling absolutely helpless and desperate.

Then I looked up into my rear-view mirror and instead of the terrible darkness I saw two yellow headlights approaching from behind.   I remember thinking that the lights seemed to have an uncharacteristically soft yellow glow.  I felt so relieved as a gentlemen, wearing a brown tweed overcoat and a hat was approaching my car. He tipped his hat as he asked, “Hello, Miss. May I help you with something?” His antiquated gesture and graceful manner were both startling and disarming. Men don’t tip or wear fedora hats these days.  His skin was flawlessly smooth and pale and his eyes were the color of blue crystal.  I was stunned.  I told him that my windshield wipers were not working and that I couldn’t see to drive.  He smiled and said, “I’ll see if I can be of assistance.”  He went straight to work removing the windshield wiper blades and switching them from one side of the window to the other, and turning them so that the worn ends were at the bottom of the windshield.  Then he told me to, “Try them now.”  They worked perfectly well to clear the rain from the windshield so that I had visibility once again.  I was astonished with simplicity of his solution to my problem.  The stranger said that he was glad that he could help me and that I should take good care going home in such weather.   He smiled again as he tipped his hat good-bye.  I thanked him profusely and watched him as he walked to his car, got in and drove away.  As his car disappeared into the darkness from which it came, I was thinking that the round and sturdy looking vehicle was a match with his manner and style of dress, as if from the era of 1950s.

Once my friend was out of sight, I became acutely aware of the intimidating highway traffic swishing by my car.  And I realized that while the kind stranger was with me, how it had seemed as if we were completely alone on the highway, and that for entire time I hadn’t seen nor had I heard any traffic passing at all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My book!

Two Little Girls by Charon Dianehttp://booklocker.com/books/4718.html

https://barnesandnoble.com/w/two-little-girls-charon-                                              diane/1022157163?ean=9781609101374

https://www.amazon.com/s?                                                                          k=two+little+girls+charon+diane&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

I didn’t know that somewhere deep in my heart was a memory of a time that I spent with my grandparents.  One day this forgotten memory came forward and most effortlessly, revealed itself to me as I wrote all that I could remember of what one month later became a book.

This extraordinary experience of my childhood took place during the summer of 1957 in Virginia.  As I wrote I was engulfed with warmth and comforting support, rather startling as it was so real.  I know now that it had to remain deep within me as only the passage of time could reveal the beauty of it.  Until the time of writing, I was unaware of how much meaning it had brought to my life. It was written with love and a deep and ever-growing appreciation for my family.  It might well have been entitled , “The Gift”.

* An excerpt from my book:

Two Little Girls

Chapter 1

As far as I was concerned, summer began with the day my father installed the screens in the windows. Early that morning, Mother would have taken the summer sheers from storage to the clothesline in our backyard. By the afternoon, she swooped up the freshened bundle and brought them back indoors to hang on the rods at the tops of the windows. When the transformation was complete, I’d run from room to room to see the curtains flying on the breeze that raced in through the windows of our big old house. Like a magical invitation to adventures possible only with summer, when one day melted into the next and no one asked about the time, I felt that I could fly too and that anything could happen.

There were 5 children in my family. My brother Lionel was the oldest; my sister Cecilia was next, followed by my sister Rose, then my brother Isaac, and me. We spent summertime totally absorbed in keeping pace with our friends as was our Mother in keeping up with us. She mended our scraped knees, our bruised egos, and the holes in my brothers’ dungarees. I remember lemonade and tuna sandwiches, cotton sun dresses and hair ribbons; the pennies I collected for the corner candy store, and my ankle socks that never stayed up. Summers seemed much longer then when hopscotch and jump rope, hide-and-seek and tag, dress-up and make-believe, with my bicycle, my dolls and friends filled the days until supper time. When August finally came around, among the five of us someone would be chosen to vacation with our grandparents in the country. It was in the year 1957 that I was to spend my first summer there.

I’d thought so often about my first trip to the farm. But like the landing of a cascading boulder, my mother’s cheerful delivery of this summer’s plan completely shattered my vision of it. Leaving little room for the way that reality alters things but similar to most events concerning “the children”, I was quite certain of my unvarying reverie. It was always the same.  My brothers and sisters are running through a country field with me, very happily and as usual, following close behind. But everything had been arranged and I alone would spend two weeks on the farm that year.

My family had gathered in the living room when Mother made the announcement. But my frustrating lack of enthusiasm was like a call to dinner in emptying the room of everyone and I found myself alone, save for the dog. While I struggled with the concept of being on my own, Spiky jumped onto the couch next to me. Placing his head upon my foot he kept a concerned and watchful eye over my disposition until we both fell asleep.

Later that day, I listened to Dad’s recollections of farm life adventures while Mother prepared supper. As she filled in with the finer points and particulars she’d taken note of my mixed feelings with her knowing smile that always took the sharp edges off of things. “Don’t forget that your cousin Joanna is just about your age and lives close to Grandpa‘s”, she nearly whispered. Then I thought of the pocket inside the little green suitcase as the place where my Jacks would find a perfect fit.

                                          ~~~~~~~ Truth is Beauty is Love ~~~~~~

 

Angel on the Highway

The year was 1980.  I worked the third shift, three nights of the week at a computer firm while my husband was at home with our two children.

The car I was driving, our second, was a sturdy old Plymouth Valiant, model year 1964. It ran well and had been very reliable for trips to the creek with the children and the dog, or to town to visit a museum, for grocery shopping, and whatever else a mom and two little ones might be bound for in the course of a day.  We never had to worry about spills or mud on the seats so the children loved it.

One night on my way home from work, at approximately 1:30 am it started to rain. By the time I reached the highway it was torrential.  Suddenly my windshield wipers couldn’t keep up with the deluge and visibility was absolutely null.  I panicked because I remembered that the road was close to a ravine with only a very short rail along the side of it.   I steered the car toward the gravel strip beside the paved road and very slowly drove until I thought that all of the car’s wheels were off of the road and onto the strip. It was pitch black as I got out of my car to see if it was safely positioned.  A chill ran up my spine.  My car was just inches away from the rail.

I got back into the car and rolled down my window to try to flag someone but the traffic was moving so fast that I didn’t feel at all safe doing that so I rolled up the window.   The passenger in a large truck looked straight at me laughed devilishly as it sped by.  I remember feeling absolutely helpless and desperate.

Then I looked up into my rear-view mirror and instead of the terrible darkness I saw two yellow headlights approaching from behind.   I remember thinking that the lights seemed to have an uncharacteristically soft yellow glow.  I felt so relieved as a gentlemen, wearing a brown tweed overcoat and a hat was approaching my car. He tipped his hat as he asked, “Hello, Miss. May I help you with something?” His antiquated gesture and graceful manner were both startling and disarming. Men don’t tip or wear fedora hats these days.  His skin was flawlessly smooth and pale and his eyes were the color of blue crystal.  I was stunned.  I told him that my windshield wipers were not working and that I couldn’t see to drive.  He smiled and said, “I’ll see if I can be of assistance.”  He went straight to work removing the windshield wiper blades and switching them from one side of the window to the other, and turning them so that the worn ends were at the bottom of the windshield.  Then he told me to, “Try them now.”  They worked perfectly well to clear the rain from the windshield so that I had visibility once again.  I was astonished with simplicity of his solution to my problem.  The stranger said that he was glad that he could help me and that I should take good care going home in such weather.   He smiled again as he tipped his hat good-bye.  I thanked him profusely and watched him as he walked to his car, got in and drove away.  As his car disappeared into the darkness from which it came, I was thinking that the round and sturdy looking vehicle was a match with his manner and style of dress, as if from the era of 1950s.

Once my friend was out of sight, I became acutely aware of the intimidating highway traffic swishing by my car.  And I realized that while the kind stranger was with me, how it had seemed as if we were completely alone on the highway, and that for entire time I hadn’t seen nor had I heard any traffic passing at all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My book!

Two Little Girls by Charon Dianehttp://booklocker.com/books/4718.html

https://barnesandnoble.com/w/two-little-girls-charon-                                              diane/1022157163?ean=9781609101374

https://www.amazon.com/s?                                                                          k=two+little+girls+charon+diane&ref=nb_sb_noss_2

I didn’t know that somewhere deep in my heart was a memory of a time that I spent with my grandparents.  One day this forgotten memory came forward and most effortlessly, revealed itself to me as I wrote all that I could remember of what one month later became a book.

This extraordinary experience of my childhood took place during the summer of 1957 in Virginia.  As I wrote I was engulfed with warmth and comforting support, rather startling as it was so real.  I know now that it had to remain deep within me as only the passage of time could reveal the beauty of it.  Until the time of writing, I was unaware of how much meaning it had brought to my life. It was written with love and a deep and ever-growing appreciation for my family.  It might well have been entitled , “The Gift”.

* An excerpt from my book:

Two Little Girls

Chapter 1

As far as I was concerned, summer began with the day my father installed the screens in the windows. Early that morning, Mother would have taken the summer sheers from storage to the clothesline in our backyard. By the afternoon, she swooped up the freshened bundle and brought them back indoors to hang on the rods at the tops of the windows. When the transformation was complete, I’d run from room to room to see the curtains flying on the breeze that raced in through the windows of our big old house. Like a magical invitation to adventures possible only with summer, when one day melted into the next and no one asked about the time, I felt that I could fly too and that anything could happen.

There were 5 children in my family. My brother Lionel was the oldest; my sister Cecilia was next, followed by my sister Rose, then my brother Isaac, and me. We spent summertime totally absorbed in keeping pace with our friends as was our Mother in keeping up with us. She mended our scraped knees, our bruised egos, and the holes in my brothers’ dungarees. I remember lemonade and tuna sandwiches, cotton sun dresses and hair ribbons; the pennies I collected for the corner candy store, and my ankle socks that never stayed up. Summers seemed much longer then when hopscotch and jump rope, hide-and-seek and tag, dress-up and make-believe, with my bicycle, my dolls and friends filled the days until supper time. When August finally came around, among the five of us someone would be chosen to vacation with our grandparents in the country. It was in the year 1957 that I was to spend my first summer there.

I’d thought so often about my first trip to the farm. But like the landing of a cascading boulder, my mother’s cheerful delivery of this summer’s plan completely shattered my vision of it. Leaving little room for the way that reality alters things but similar to most events concerning “the children”, I was quite certain of my unvarying reverie. It was always the same.  My brothers and sisters are running through a country field with me, very happily and as usual, following close behind. But everything had been arranged and I alone would spend two weeks on the farm that year.

My family had gathered in the living room when Mother made the announcement. But my frustrating lack of enthusiasm was like a call to dinner in emptying the room of everyone and I found myself alone, save for the dog. While I struggled with the concept of being on my own, Spiky jumped onto the couch next to me. Placing his head upon my foot he kept a concerned and watchful eye over my disposition until we both fell asleep.

Later that day, I listened to Dad’s recollections of farm life adventures while Mother prepared supper. As she filled in with the finer points and particulars she’d taken note of my mixed feelings with her knowing smile that always took the sharp edges off of things. “Don’t forget that your cousin Joanna is just about your age and lives close to Grandpa‘s”, she nearly whispered. Then I thought of the pocket inside the little green suitcase as the place where my Jacks would find a perfect fit.

                                          ~~~~~~~ Truth is Beauty is Love ~~~~~~

 

Angel on the Highway

 

It was 1979 and I had a job at a computer firm processing payroll checks. My husband  was at home with our two children while I worked the third shift three nights of the week.

The car I was driving, our second, was a sturdy old Plymouth Valiant, model year 1964. It ran well and had been very reliable for trips to the creek with the kids and the dog, or to town to visit a museum, for grocery shopping, and whatever else a mom and two kids were bound for in the course of a day.  We never had to worry about spills or mud on the seats so the children loved it.

One night on my way home from work, at approximately 1:30 am it started to rain.  By the time I reached the highway it was pouring torrents.  Suddenly my windshield wipers couldn’t keep up with the deluge and visibility was absolutely null.  I panicked because I remembered that the road was close to a ravine with only a very short rail along the side of it.   I steered the car toward the gravel strip beside the paved road and very slowly drove until I thought that I had all of the car’s wheels off of the road and onto the strip. It was pitch black as I got out of my car to see if it was safely positioned.  A chill ran up my spine.  My car was just inches away from the rail.

I got back into the car and rolled down my window to try to flag someone but the traffic was moving so fast that I didn’t feel at all safe doing that so I rolled up the window.   The passenger in a large truck looked straight at me laughed devilishly as it sped by.  I remember feeling absolutely helpless and desperate.

Then I looked up into my rear-view mirror and instead of the terrible darkness I saw two yellow headlights approaching from behind.   I remember thinking that the lights seemed to have an uncharacteristically soft yellow glow.  I felt so relieved as a gentlemen, wearing a brown tweed overcoat and a hat was approaching my car.  He tipped his hat as he asked, “Hello miss can I help you with something?”  His antiquated gesture and graceful manner were both startling and disarming.  Men don’t tip or wear fedora hats these days.  His skin was flawlessly smooth and pale and his eyes were the color of blue crystal.  I was stunned.  I told him that my windshield wipers were not working and that I couldn’t see to drive.  He smiled and said, “I’ll see if I can be of assistance.”  He went straight to work removing the windshield wiper blades and switching them from one side of the window to the other, and turning them so that the worn ends were at the bottom of the windshield.   Then he told me to, “Try them now.”  They worked perfectly well to clear the rain from the windshield so that I had visibility once again.  I was astonished with simplicity of his solution to my problem.  The stranger said that he was glad that he could help me and that I should take good care going home in such weather.   He smiled again as he tipped his hat good-bye.  I thanked him profusely and watched him as he walked to his car, got in and drove away.  As his car disappeared into the darkness from which it came, I was thinking that the round and sturdy looking vehicle was a match with his manner and style of dress, as if from the era of 1950s.

Once my friend was out of sight, I became acutely aware of the intimidating highway traffic swishing by my car.  And I realized that while the kind stranger was with me, how it had seemed as if we were completely alone on the highway, and that for entire time I hadn’t seen nor had I heard any traffic passing at all.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My book!

Two Little Girls by Charon Dianehttp://booklocker.com/books/4718.html

Our lives are a compilation of events that we dismiss for the most part.  I didn’t know that somewhere deep in my heart was this time that I spent with my grandparents.  One day it was there, this sterling moment in my life effortlessly revealing itself to me onto the pages of my little book of 50 pages.

This extraordinary experience of my childhood took place late 1950’s in Virginia.   As I wrote the words I felt warm and comforting support for a time so dear to me.   Until the time of writing, I was unaware of how much meaning it brought to my life.  It was written with love and a deep and ever-growing appreciation for my family.  It might well have been entitled , “The Gift”.

                                                                        Truth is beauty is Love
You are amazing.  Create something beautiful today!

When Bad Things Happen

*******
You are constantly given proof,
You are always invited to believe,
You are eternally being supported in that,
                       You Are Amazing!

Connect with Love
                                                                                                                                      everything else is distraction

What a difference a day makes!

In becoming the person you were meant to be in this life, bad things will happen to you. What else will coax you from your carefully maintained comfort zone of limiting possibilities?
So what’s really happening when baaaaad things happen?
Upon reflection, I would have to admit that five years ago I was pretty high on myself.  I felt sure of and satisfied with my life and rather proud of my accomplishments; creative, active, big thinking problem solver, go to person, answer lady, whatever it takes (so said my Ex) big time doer, never sick, etc., there was always something going on, something that I needed to do. I always wore the most intriguing outfits and was fairly certain that I was personally responsible for a few trends. “You’re where you should be all the time and when you’re not you’re with…..”
Well, then I became ill.
For the next two months I lived in my office scouring the internet and printing out pages of reports and findings on suspecting causes.
Doctor after doctor and no one could tell me why or give a cause for “my condition” other than anxiety. So of course I was prescribed medication. Once on impulse I thanked a doctor for his insight because I could feel his growing frustration and impatience with me, and because I so needed at least a feeling of something constructive to come of this latest consultation.  He seemed pleased with himself and very condescendingly sent me on my way, sure of his victory over my presentation.  Just Imagine, feeling the worst you’ve ever felt and the only action available to you was to alleviate the stress in the person you rely upon to help you.  It was clear to me that I would have to find my way to the answers through my own efforts.

What you need is always there for you

On a day that I shall never forget, with one particular specialist, I answered yes to a question all doctors ask during consultation. Until then each time I’d answered, “No.”  The question was, “Do you have a headache?”
Driving home from yet another perplexed doctor, I wondered, after 3 months into my investigation of my illness, and so many visits to doctors and emergency rooms what was different this time? Why had I answered yes? I started going backward with all of the details of that day. Everything was unremarkable except for how uncharacteristically, I had closed the windows of my car leaving only the sunroof open because it was chilly from the night before when it rained. No air, all windows open is my usual. Was there anything else about the car? Yes there was. The engine had recently been replaced. Just then an ethereal suggestion coming slowly into consciousness hinted, “Could carbon monoxide be involved?”

Once at home I immediately I called my general practitioner’s office. I spoke to the nurse and told her I needed to the doctor to know about my suspicions regarding carbon monoxide. She called back minutes later to ask if I meant to say carbon dioxide. Really?  I started to cry. I had never been so completely frustrated or felt so entirely lost, alone, and desperate. I fell to the floor and prayed, “Please help me. Down here no one seems to know anything!” Then an instruction was given to me, a concise, authoritative, directive,  “Take the carbon monoxide detector from the wall and place it in the car.” I was stunned for a moment. Then I followed through placing the meter in the driver’s seat, I closed the windows, started the engine, got out of the car, and closed the door. After 10 minutes waiting on my porch, I returned to the car to get the meter reading which registered a very high level of carbon monoxide. I was being poisoned by my car’s exhaust fumes!
Stress slipped away and I felt a warm comforting Presence all around me. I didn’t want to stray from it so I continued to lie there enjoying the most amazing sense of security and love and acceptance. I could have been taken away on a breeze. My prayer was answered and I felt safe for the first time in months.

Recovery from this kind injury takes a long time and patient, consistent self-care. What a challenge it is for a previously impatient me!

I am different now.  I can’t do-it-all these days but with Grace I’ve learned, in exchange, that when I allow others to do for me I get to experience the beautiful gift of connection existing between us all. People seem to gravitate to the opportunity to experience that connection, to express the Love! Amazing!
For a take-charge personality the biggest challenge has been a simple one; to allow others. Though it continues to be my first response, I just don’t get a charge out of reacting in that way anymore. My good fortune has been that I’ve established some incredible bonds as well as rid myself of a couple of fair-weather-friends (after so many years, who knew, though they have always been rather difficult.) Because of my illness I know some of what’s been missing. And each day I discover more, i.e. my love of writing!

So could it be that the bad things that happen are just an invitation to experience your life from a different perspective, to see what becomes of you? And perhaps it’s all part of the grand design anyway, in revealing the wonder of you, your self, your most precious and amazing gift!
Wow!

** During this most difficult time of my life, a long-forgotten memory emerged.  Following my inspiration I started writing what I could remember.  As recollections unfolded the title was changed several times but it was clear in the end that this was my story.

With much love and gratitude,

Char

Two Little Girls by Charon Dianehttp://booklocker.com/books/4718.html

This is a 50-page novelette about the most extraordinary experience of my childhood which took place in later part of the 1950’s in Virginia.  It was written with love and deep appreciation for my family.  It might well have been entitled , “The Gift”.

Be good, be you be well!

Love,

Char